Well, no matter why it’s coming back, the dish is appearing on tables again. And if that’s the case, then let’s help the Steve Ballmer and others. Which wine would you pair with an iceberg wedge and blue cheese dressing (bacon optional)? Or does that blue cheese dressing make it…impossible?

Recipe and photo credit at seriouseats.com

Yes, it’s comfort food. And, no, it’s not impossible as the bread-cheese duo is the basis of so many delicious staples from pizza to ravioli. So raise the degree of difficulty, if you so desire, by adding a twist to the classic by suggesting your favorite cheese. (Incidentally, Ruth Reichl gave some tips last week on Gilt Taste about how to make grilled cheese better, including grating the cheese and adding a thin layer of mayo!) Who knows, maybe your grilled cheese will be graced by a depiction of the Virgin Mary it and you can sell it for $28k on eBay!

Bryan, who asked the question originally, said he went with Australian cheddar and a Simon Bize Savigny-les-Beaune 2009. How would you spin it?

Many wine enthusiasts have drawn a line in the pomace and said no to wines over a certain alcohol percentage. But the changing food preferences of Americans may represent the greater challenge to high-octane reds since they generally make for lousy partners with seafood, lighter, or plant-based fare. And don’t forget spice. Much Indian food is vegetarian and spicy; dousing it with a 15% Chateauneuf du Pape sounds to me more like a recipe for pain, not pleasure. The big reds are easy to pair with the fat and protein of grilled meat but if Americans are feasting less on flesh, the treacly cabernet producers of the world face a challenge (as do the oak barrel makers of the world).

Charlie Trotter is one chef who put vegetarian cuisine literally on equal footing with meats since diners at his restaurant had a choice of either a meat menu or non-meat menu. So with news this week that he is closing his restaurant in August after 25 years, it seemed timely to broach the subject of how a vegetarian diet could impact the wine world. My wife and I have fond memories of Charlie Trotter’s since we lived in the adjacent building after we were married. One dinner we had there that highlighted the difficulties of vegetarian pairings was an all-tomato menu, a challenge for any wine, but particularly challenging to wash down with young Cabernet (unfortunately, I can’t recall what we had).

Anyway, with bacon-drenched everything appearing these days (ice cream, vodka, toothpaste, and the “explosion”), it’s not as if vegetarians are “occupying” the dining rooms of the world’s finest restaurants. But eating less meat appears to have taken hold in America and, for the wines that people actually drink wine (as opposed to collecting and flipping it), this will likely have an impact.

A team from National Geographic ventures into a pharmacy in Hong Kong. They try to discern the medicinal from the “magic potions.”

Bringing back memories of The Great White North, they crack open a bottle of mouse wine–yes, it is what you think it is. Then they sample three penis wine described as “a delicate blend of dog, deer, and seal penis” that helps kidneys and “male sexual power.” They describe it as “creamier” than the mouse wine. Go figure.

We usually try to pair wines with wacky foods, but what dish would you pair with three penis wine? Or is it too hard, nay, impossible?!?!

ht guyawoodward

With gold at $1,800, Ron Paul polling third among the Republican candidates, and people flocking to a wine cellar for safety, is it any wonder that Costco is currently marketing a one year’s supply of food? Called Shelf Reliance THRIVE, it’s dehydrated, freeze-dried, and comes in big cans. All the better for storing in your bunker! (One commenter points out that it’s a lean 1,220 calories a day amortized over a whole year. And the ability to boil water is required for some of them!)

So, if you had to tuck away a year’s supply of wine to pair with such delicacies as Taco TVP–textured vegetable protein–what would it be? Or is it…impossible?!? Given that all the food costs $799, ratchet up the degree of difficulty by trying to keep under that number. (Needless to say, a $10 bottle every night in your bunker would cost $3,650 for a year.)

So a new mother is quoted in a New York magazine article on cooking placenta. No, not polenta–placenta. I’ve never delivered a placenta personally, so maybe that’s why I find it a little difficult to, erm, swallow. But the NYmag story highlights various preparations including raw, popped in the blender with coconut water and banana, stewed with ginger, lemon, and a jalapeño pepper, and even pill form.

So let’s help the new mothers (and new fathers?) out there as only enophiles can with the fruit of their own labor and the fruits of the vine: which wine would you pair with placenta–or is it impossible?!?

Related: “Breast milk cheese: impossible food-wine pairing?“

And for those who were wondering about pairing wine and the Bible, check out our archive post on Jesus, oinos, and the marriage at Cana.

Images of Michele Bachmann and Rick Perry are reduced-sized crops by Toby Harnden and Iowa Politics. See Kos for complete library of corn dog and pols pics.

So let us honor the now-defunct contract as only Bacchus would–pairing it with wine! Let me use my blogger’s privilege to launch the thread by suggesting…a great off-dry Riesling. The sweetness and acidity are a magical pairing (assuming you’re not a vegetarian) with the saltiness and fattiness of the pork. Which wine say you?

More Eddie Murphy after the jump!

Getting schooled in commodities…

Which leads to this priceless exchange:
Randolph Duke: Exactly why do you think the price of pork bellies is going to keep going down, William?
Billy Ray Valentine: Okay, pork belly prices have been dropping all morning, which means that everybody is waiting for it to hit rock bottom, so they can buy low. Which means that the people who own the pork belly contracts are saying, “Hey, we’re losing all our damn money, and Christmas is around the corner, and I ain’t gonna have no money to buy my son the G.I. Joe with the kung-fu grip! And my wife ain’t gonna f… my wife ain’t gonna make love to me if I got no money!” So they’re panicking right now, they’re screaming “SELL! SELL!” to get out before the price keeps dropping. They’re panicking out there right now, I can feel it.
[on the ticker machine, the price keeps dropping]
Randolph Duke: He’s right, Mortimer! My God, look at it!

I was at lunch with a friend who has fine taste when a beet salad appeared. And a zinfandel. He didn’t touch the beets. I asked him if it was the unflattering pairing with the wine. He said no, he just not a fan.

But some people are. And summer is a great time for a beet salad as a part of a buffet or a picnic (don’t spill them on the blanket, however). They are good for you, packed with folate, featuring in the number one slot on a list of “The 11 Best Foods You Aren’t Eating.” So if “eat your beets” is the new “eat your peas,” then we should at least know which wine to pair with them! Complicating factors in the beet salad for the wine pairing are the sugars in the beets as well as a vinegar dressing. After many trashy “impossible” pairings, here’s a healthy one to help us all look awesome in our swimsuits.

Which wine would you pair with a beet salad–or is it impossible?!?

It’s National Pancake Week starting March 1–who knew? The timing coincides with the week before Mardi Gras, since pancakes have been a temptation worth avoiding during lent for 2,000 years now.

Site reader John G. requests that we get a jump on this hedonism a little early. I’m a pancake purist myself making them from scratch since it is so easy and tasty. After many years of suffering through inferior syrup (and–be damned–fake maple syrup!), I’ve discovered Grade B maple syrup. Darker in color and richer in flavor, it’s the best kept secret in syrup because the “B” thing reeks of inferiority. But don’t be fooled, it’s the real deal and well worth the tariff.

As to the pairing, I think nothing goes better with a stack of pancakes than a cup of hot, black coffee. But perhaps you are more daring than I. What do you think–which wine would you pair with pancakes, or is it impossible?!?

The Super Bowl brings to the host city all kinds of things ranging from pulse-pounding punt returns to prostitutes. Apparently the Super Bowl also brings out avocados in force (although it doesn’t have such an impact on sales as some may think according to snopes). But they end up mashed in a super bowl of their own with diced tomatoes, onions, lime juice and cilantro to make guacamole.

So, this week we have a pairing question for you by request: which wine would you pair with guacamole? Or is it…impossible?!?

But does it taste any good? I went to my local farmers’ market and bought a pint from a vendor. I also bought a loaf of organic bread from the excellent baker Wave Hill, and some microgreens. At home, I spread Dijon mustard on a slice, added some cheddar, heaped on the kraut, cherry tomatoes, and greens to make a sort of a cold, vegetarian, full-of-flavor, crunchy, tart riff on the reuben. Next up I will have to try Schupfnudeln, a regional dish (with an odd name) from southwestern Germany that amounts to homemade gnocchi fried up with bacon fat and sauerkraut.

What do you say? Help the fermentation foodies. Which wine would you pair with sauerkraut (in any preparation)–or is pairing fermented grape juice with fermented cabbage…impossible?

Let’s make this an open thread to discuss all turkey-day wine questions. If you’ve never commented and have a query, now’s your chance to say hi! I’ll start the Butterball rolling with just two suggestions.

1. If I were having a lot of people over to my house for Thanksgiving (or were responsible for the wine at someone else’s house), I’d have lots of wine, in a variety of styles. I’d make it a tasting for people who don’t usually get to taste a lot of different things–red, white and bubbly–yet have some conventional choices for those relatives who don’t want a real challenge. I’d keep the pre bottle price down, maybe even throw in a box wine, and budget about a half a bottle per adult.

2. If I were having a more intimate Thanksgiving with known wine enthusiasts, I’d have fewer, more expensive wines.

What are you planning on serving and what’s your strategy? Also, is anyone having a non-turkey Thanksgiving–or is that heresy?

Ever since the Native Americans opened the first can of cranberry sauce for the pilgrims in 1621, it has been a part of the Thanksgiving meal. And ever since 1976, in the wake of the Paris tasting, we wine enthusiasts have been trying to pair wine with it–or find a wine that won’t be demolished by the combination of natural tartness and the added sweetness.

So what say you: which wine do you pair with cranberry sauce…or is it impossible?!?

U.S. Navy Seahawk helicopters were ferrying supplies, including Spam, crab meat, croissants and Pop Tarts to the ship from the USS Ronald Reagan, an aircraft carrier that reached the Splendor after it was diverted from training maneuvers to help.

My goodness, are they trying to rescue these people or kill them? Pairing those with wine sound…impossible! (Crab meat is the easiest by far, though.) So in this emergency edition of our impossible pairings, consider which wine you would send these marooned vacationers to pair with their emergency rations and plight. Which wines would you send along if you were the Coast Guard sommelier?

reduced size crop of AP/Gregory Bull image.