Three penis wine – impossible food pairing?!?

A team from National Geographic ventures into a pharmacy in Hong Kong. They try to discern the medicinal from the “magic potions.”

Bringing back memories of The Great White North, they crack open a bottle of mouse wine–yes, it is what you think it is. Then they sample three penis wine described as “a delicate blend of dog, deer, and seal penis” that helps kidneys and “male sexual power.” They describe it as “creamier” than the mouse wine. Go figure.

We usually try to pair wines with wacky foods, but what dish would you pair with three penis wine? Or is it too hard, nay, impossible?!?!

ht guyawoodward

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17 Responses to “Three penis wine – impossible food pairing?!?”


  1. Given the desired effects of Three Penis Wine, one would be foolish not to serve this wine with anything but Paul Proudhomme’s oyster and artichoke stew… man, it is already getting warm in here……..


  2. Penis wine is likely dry so you’d probably want to pair it with artichoke ora creamy pasta if your a vegetarian like me. Then again as a vegetarian i wouldn’t want to consume anything from an animal, especially penis.


  3. C’mon y’all some things are simply meant to stand alone.
    Cheers and bottoms up,


  4. Three penis wine is a must with prairie oysters. Testicles are the obvious partner for penises.


  5. Dear Doc V,
    Presumably because you are a doctor I feel comfortable mention in complete confidence that this wine has been my quiet medicinal secret for years and has brought me great pleasure and enjoyment. However, I recommend that it be consumed only as an after dinner drink. In years past, I naively attempted to serve a 6 penis wine with carefully prepared culinary delights but frankly after only a few sips dinner was often times skipped entirely. I have also determined that the 6 penis blend was a bit powerful and so I started adding 50% water to lessen the effects. Unfortunately this necessary dilution resulted in a loss of the meaty-animal flavors and the big mouth feel that I also find enjoyable in a good bottle of Gigondas. I am delighted that the 3 penis blend is now available in time for the hillidays, and I will certainly be purchasing a case or two the next time I’m in Shandong. I typically purchase wine of this caliber in greater quantities but unfortunately penis wine doesn’t age well.
    Thanks for all your hard work – keep it up!


  6. If I want penis in my wine, I’ll put it in there myself.


  7. There must be something in the air…


  8. I don’t think that women would be as interested in this food-wine pairing as men think that they would be.


  9. Given their stated effects, my guess is anything in the Wan Chai district. Ahem.


  10. Guys who serve this wine generally think its bigger than it really is. It also is reported to be unwise to drink after taking Viagra.


  11. Easy – pair with a Hummer (SUV).


  12. Footlong sub?


  13. I think this was in an episode of “The Leauge”


  14. I bet it has a long finish (drum roll)…


  15. watch ang panday 2 2011 online…

    [...]Three penis wine – impossible food pairing?!? | Dr Vino's wine blog[...]…


  16. [...] http://www.drvino.com/2011/11/04/three-penis-wine/Share this:TwitterFacebookLike this:LikeBe the first to like this post.   [...]


  17. Lol, that’s why I looked it up. I wanted to see of this stuff was real.


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