“Waiter, there’s a naked woman in my wine” – caption this

naked_winemakingOver at the new blogazine, Palate Press, there’s a posting about a pair of women who bare all and then jump in a tank full of warm, fermenting pinot juice, seeds and skins. No, this isn’t the recreational sport of tank diving; they did it in the name of “pigeage” or a punch down that keeps the floating bits (known as the “cap”) moist. Most wineries do this with a long tool while some use a method of taking juice from the bottom of the tanking pumping it over the top.

Here’s the photo that ran with the posting: what’s your caption? Try to keep it PG-13 or somewhat safe for work.

If we ingredient labeling on American wines, would they have to add naked woman if they do the traditional pigeage?

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33 Responses to ““Waiter, there’s a naked woman in my wine” – caption this”

  1. Actually, getting to add “naked women” might be the silver lining to the gray cloud of ingredient labels.

  2. At Spa Vino we offer an invigorating soak in only the noblest grapes.

  3. Don’t mind the little bubbles – that’s from the fermentation process.

  4. Even if the river wasn’t whiskey, I’d be a diving duck.

  5. Isn’t illegal in the US to produce a commercial wine whose grapes were crushed or punched down with one’s body parts?

    Just saying…

  6. Wait, did you say that “most wineries do this with a long tool”?

    I thought you wanted to keep it clean? Lead by example Coleman! :-p

  7. First off, I have a friend who did this one night when she was working in South Africa, so it’s pretty common – except she was in a big, stainless steel tank which is probably very risky.
    You would wonder about yeast infections, as well…

    Anyway, captions:

    Wine, with added body!
    Savour the flavour!! (Was a tag-line for tea in this part of the world, once).
    Wish you were here?
    Pickers with no knickers!!!
    This is my Cuvee Benny Hill!!!!
    Class, elegant with a hint of naughtiness…

  8. Sorry, but we were a little behind in punching down the cap!

  9. We have seen this before. I believe that such connections between wine and nudity lead to only one place in certain parts of this county, and so I propose:

    “Alabama Slammer”

  10. Crackin’ Good Wine !

  11. Wine enthusiasts put their disdain for “critter labels” on hold in anticipation of pending release of “Naked Monkey”

  12. Maybe they should name it Short and Curlies Cuvee….

  13. “Bottom of Wine Barrel Revealed”

    Hey, funny post.

    Wish I could do a live-action of this process on my v-blog (www.pardonthatvine.com), where I review wines. But I need to keep it clean.

    Fun stuff, Chris

  14. “Good lord! What a laxative that was!”

  15. Illegal in Alabama.

  16. How can you tell the photo is woman? Might be man in good shape.

  17. I do this to my wines all the time. What’s a trip is finding the little pockets of warmth from hyper-active yeast. The problem is the cold shower from the nozzle of a hose after.

  18. Okay, um, WTF is going on here – is this legal? Man oh man, this is truly vile – you’re puttin’ the “v” in vino. But honestly, I should hope you’d be arrested for this. This makes me want to swear off wine forever!

  19. America’s most wanted. Live at five.

  20. hmmm, medium bodied, good backbone, reasonably long finish

  21. Waiter! There’s a hair in my wine.

  22. Looooocy! I need to see you in the kitchen.

  23. @Josh – Do you prefer giving your pinot a pump over?

    @Josh and Morgan – as two winemakers here, can you comment on the legality and/or hygienic concerns Paul and Sarah raise about this type of piegeage? How, er, widespread is the practice?

  24. …As she frantically searched for her clothes in the cold cellar that morning, one thought raced through her head, “new rule: no more after-hours wine pong in the tasting room”.

  25. How’s she gonna get THAT clean?

  26. […] still play PC games? If it’s going anywhere, it had better be massively multiplayer! * Does naked pigeage count as a plus or a minus in the game? * Who stirs the Biodyanmic preparations? * Do the […]

  27. I suppose she could add a little nitrogen to the ferment as well…

  28. What’s the big deal? A naked woman or man in a tank of Pinot performing Punch-down is nothing new. Aside from punch-down nudity the small lot tank must also undergo the process of being de-juiced and then be transferred to the press. This process at a small winery often requires that someone (clothed or not) enter the tank with a shovel and bucket.

    Could someone please post nude photos of the de-juicing process being performed?

    Seriously, the only actual concern should be for the person in the tank not the wine. Strict protocol should be followed when humans are working in confined areas in the presence of CO2 gas.
    OSHA would prefer to see nude tank workers in groups tied together with approved emergency evacuation straps and with fans for ventilation along with CO2 sensing badges.
    What a great nude photo that would make! So much for the romance of winemaking.

  29. As a winemaker, I’ve tried stomping grapes this way. It’s very good for the skin, but hard work, and only recommended as a way to crush grapes, not to punch them down during fermentation. Mike is right about the risk of asphyxiation from CO2. Only try it in a small vat, with plenty of ventilation. Modesty presupposes an otherwise empty winery.
    Nosy agencies like the DEC, EPA, OSHA and the BOH may not like the practice, but there is no danger to human health from it because there are no bacteria harmful to humans that can survive the (low) pH of grape juice. And once it turns into alcohol, it’s even safer. Still, don’t go into the tank with perfume on.
    Virgil lauded piegeage in his Georgics, singing,
    “Great father Bacchus to my song repair;
    For clustering grapes are thy peculiar care:
    For thee large bunches lade the bending vine;
    And the last blessings of the year are thine.
    To thee his joys the jolly autumn owes,
    When the fermenmting juice the vat o’re flows.
    Come strip with me, my God, come drench all o’re
    Thy limbs in must of wine, and drink at ev’ry pore.”

  30. What about “Cu(l)vé de pinot”?

    Nice picture.

  31. Ty, Ty, Ty!
    The state-of-the-art wine press pictured above needs a bit more junk in the trunk and a tighter bung. On the plus side, more natural yeasts and enzymes are added, and iron, depending on the time of the month. Aaah! I can feel the sweet nectar dripping down chin. Oh my!

  32. This is a truly PINK wine…

  33. Hmm, there’s something fishy about this wine…


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