Caption this: doctor check up!


Jeff, a site reader, sent in this photo from, yes, the wine world! What’s your caption for this photo? Hit the comments!

Full story to be revealed later. UPDATE: Congrats, Victor! He guessed the story correctly! Dutchman Ilja Gort, owner of Chateau la Garde in Bordeaux and Tulipe Wines, has insured his nose with Lloyd’s of London for $8 million. Robert Parker, who has a mere $1 million policy on his palate, move over! According to the AP, “Gort says his nose is essential to produce top quality wines. The insurance policy covers the loss of both his nose and his sense of smell.”

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13 Responses to “Caption this: doctor check up!”

  1. “You’re right, your beard DOES resemble a corkscrew…”

  2. I see it now François. As I keep telling you, stick to making wines with aromas of berries. These cool-fermented wines smelling of bananas are quite dangerous.

  3. Your left nostril I will insure for 5 million, for the right I can only give you 3 million …

  4. Tired with the Budometer, Tim Hanni counts nose hair as part of his research on the Smellometer.

    Cheers, Boyce

  5. This is such a silly undertaking. If I were a Lloyd’s assessor, I’d look at other things to insure in these individuals. There are other, more concerning and relevant health issues to insure for a wine maker or critic. What is the chance Parker or Gort will get popped in the nose and end up with permanent anosmia? (wait don;t answer that) Probably a lot less than their risk of a stroke.

  6. Arthur, silly yes. And restrictive! Here’s what Gort is not able to do:
    The Dutchman is not allowed to ride a motorcycle or be a boxer, knife thrower’s assistant or a fire-breather.

    “I may not fight against Mike Tyson,” Gort said.

  7. I can appreciate the practicality of it (for Keith Richards, Marlene Dietrich and Gort alike). But when you think about the fact that so much of sensation is about the brain and learning and being a good observer, then one would be well served to insure that organ and avoid all things which may affect it. The underwriter’s (Jonathan Thomas) quote gives a ‘gimmicky’, publicity seeking feel to the whole thing.

  8. “Goodness gracious, sir, your [fill in the blank] IS located up your nose!!

  9. I won, I won! What do I win?

  10. I was just a bit late too…still wish I had an $8 million dollar sense…I’d settle for any of the 5.

  11. Sir, the next time you open Champagne, don’t stand directly over the bottle. I’m going to need the curly pliers on this one.

  12. I warned you that cork was an imperfect enclosure for a bloody nose.

  13. My palate was insured at Geico for $37.25 per year. They were looking in the wrong end in this picture – Geico had a proctologist look into my…


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